Hi Stef,

You explained yourself just fine. I'm sorry that life hurts so bad for you right now.

You mentioned that you are still cycling up and down as well as cutting. Are you still seeing your doctor--have you told him about this? I ask because I care about you and hope you will get the help you need so badly right now.

The doc can help you if he knows what you are experiencing and doing--you are really part of his team when you do this, really. I know from experience - don't tell all vs do tell all.

You mentioned that your boyfriend is much older and married. I won't address this issue here. Once you've been here a bit and feel comfortable, if you want to PM me I'll be here for you. I wish I could fix everything for you right now, immediately.

But do keep coming here. There are lots of good people here who help each other get through their hurts and troubles and find each other good info. You can make friends here and you can take them with you wherever you may go--just make sure you have internet access

Stef, if you mean you are silly because you are a fun and goofy prankster then that's good and true. But if you mean you're silly because of the state you are in, you are not silly. You are just like the rest of us.

Welcome to our forum, come often, let us help, and make some friends.
JourneyUpward