read with care could *trigger*** if in wrong place feel free to move.

Really did not know myself where to put this. Not a ptsd moment. not depressed a little sad yes. Normal sad , if there is such a thing.
Its not aniexty. Its a big pile of brush. To much in a couple of days.
Which I will say im sorry right now as its not more than anyone else deals with in thier lives. in fact it could be less. Just needed to type it out.
Yesterday went wham wham .....First i was insulted once again over my tan. Which is no big deal ,. And the answer would be well then stay inside then. But it makes me feel better sunlight. I do not get why its a issue with some??????? Im at a loss on that one. totally. In fact I questioned myself on weather or not i should just stay out of the sun and tanning booths. If its going to bug ppl so. ok over that one.
With in minutes of that, And this is important. Ppl thou deal with it every day. So i know i am not alone. It just because I have lost so many it hit me alittle hard, Also its what my aunt had., My friends wife , will not make it. She has brain cancer. I did the only thing i could do which was give him a big hug. Said I understood.
I know lots of you have dealt with that too. So i know im not alone.I just felt so bad for him.
there was another issue , but just to trigger to mention here. I do not want to upset anyone. It did not involve me. One of my friends nephews.
Today later in the afternoon as most of you know my son has joined the Marines. In comes the offical letter I did not know you got as being the parent. Welcome to the Marines family. Being from the base back home.
The part that got me was he has made a legal and moral agreement. Legal........which I knew but seeing it that way was like ohhhhhhhhhhhh.............and i know once again many of you have faced the same thing with your children or yourselfs or family members. So i am not alone. I feel like i am whinning. rambleing thats for sure.
The saddest I think ......my son came home tonight from the place they all play football. One of his team mates from wreastling. Took his life.
No one knows why. It had just happened. My daughter got it confirmed.
First one at our home school that i can remember.
10th grade i think. My son said no one knew what to do. They all just kinda walked to thier homes.
Its almost like time stood still. It was horrific.
((and i know so many of you have lost ppl to this))))) so im sorry...
I wish with all my heart kids had ppl they could go to.
sorry for this post its not my usal happy posts.

I am not up to full rambling sorry
and of course its thundering out too....so that prolly means my internet will go down. alot of rain too.