please note trigger warning this post re: r.a.


oh, i wasn't expecting thank yous or acknowledgement even (though i admit sometimes when there's no response i feel bad, especially when sharing writing in creative section...i don't do that anymore...i mostly am uncomfortable when people say nice things). No, it's just that it seemed like in more than a few threads i was the last one. If more people said something to the person that posted (not me) i wouldn't think of being a thread killer but that's not to say it's ok that nobody did. i know people are in different spaces cuz sometimes i feel really badly when i can't reach out to support others sometimes so i know sometimes it's just more than we can do. The reaching out is for the original poster though and that's what weirds me out when that stops as soon as i post.

Actually, i can very briefly say this thought has to do with magical thinking and special powers and forces and stuff that comes with r.a. that i don't say much cuz people just would think i'm crazy. People have such a hard time believing. i have thoughts both ways about those things...that some exist and that some are tricks. My past, i was tricked a lot twisting good/bad right/wrong truth/lies.. Anyway, that's too far. But because of that tricked magical thinking self, i wondered if i had that impact...killer of threads...ick. Don't want any dark things. Anyway, i'm going too far again. SORRY Just wanted to clarify it wasn't about me not getting more.