hey journeyupward,

thanks for the kind words. just to clear up something - the guy i was talking about who is married and older, he is NOT my boyfriend, just a friend that i have a wee crush on. nothing will happen between us, but having those feelings, it is just a reminder sometimes that i am alone. i guess part of me wants a boyfriend, or just a really close friend who cares and that i can talk to easily and someone who i know will always be there. so yeh, i am not involved with that guy, he is true to his family and my little crush will fade away as it should.

i am still seeing my doctor - actually i saw him today. we talked and i have finally agreed to seeing someone more qualified to deal with my situation. i have another issue, on top of being bipolar, that i think i need to deal with (though the two problems go hand in hand). tomorrow i am going to call and make an appointment, and hopefully start the road to better recovery. i wish it were immediate....

what does PM mean? you mentioned i could PM you, but i am not sure what that means......

i am doing better today but still feeling low. i will get through it though it seems hopeless at times. it is nice to just say it though, which is why i signed up here.

silly stef is cause (when i am more normal ie. not on a low) i am usually relatively free spirited, artsy and adventurous and try almost anything. silly just cause i can come off as a crazy fun person (no pun intended with the crazy)

thanks for replying, and you take care
stef