It sounds like you're going through an awful lot. I too would be nervous. I think your feelings are appropriate and I would worry should you be having any other response. Look honestly at the options you have and make the best choice for you. You know what is best for you and I believe you have the courage to make the right choice. Know too that the cycle is on an upward swing because you have made progress since the last cycle and that keeps you going in an upward trend even if you do slip back for a little while.

my therapist once told me recovery is like taking a trip from new york to california. If you get lost in colorado you don't go all the way back to new york and start over again, you just find yourself in colorado and continue. Recovery is amazing because nobody can take away the progress that we have made.

I wish you all the strentgh and courage you need.

Love and Hugs,
Tara