Mary Alice....

God knows that I can realte to you having lost the desire. Like you I live day to day with little hope for my future. My lost hope revolves around a whole series of bad decisions that has turned my life into a living hell. This compounded with the shame and guilt of my own actions.

Unlike you I was never into self injury. When my life got out of control, or when I was stressed out, I sought out sexual encounters. Guess I chose pleasure over pain. But, in the end it was not pleasure at all, it was a pain that is deep and even though it didn't leave physical scars as in your case the mental and emotional scars are deep, raw and open.

Like you, I present myself fairly well. Although, at times I know I am starting to let myself go.

You rhusband sounds like he needs a severe attitude adjustment, he is certainly not helping you.

I am so sorry for your pain. You are a sweet person and did not deserve this.