T asked me what it would be like if I tried to push past the discomfort of opening up to her about things that are hard to talk about....(I guess this could go back to the thread I started and then deleted).

She said that she's noticed several times in the past when the topic got a little difficult that she could see my discomfort (and i thought i hid it pretty well) and she ended up having to move from that topic to something else.

I told her that Im scared I am going to have another session where I felt like I was completely removed from the room...I had a session like this a few weeks ago when I gave her something I'd written...I sat there as she read it and she asked questions but her voice was muffled and I felt like I was disappearing. I apparently understood some of what she was saying because I answered her questions, which I don't even remember the answers to. I don't remember much of that session---I eventually ended up telling her this week (geez i just hope she doesnt think I wasnt listening to her). I've had other sessions like that just not as bad.

I know in order for her to help me I need to start pushing past this discomfort, but I don't know how to do this without shutting down and missing entire sessions.

Any advice, words of wisdom...anything? Im desperate...