i use to do this and i did it on and off for about 2 or 3 years. I think things got out of control after i starting thinking i was fat, then i started trying to starve, and then i developed binging problems. I'd eat and eat until my stomach was so full that it hurt. I dont know how in the world i didn;t become real overweight. I guess because i was young (13 or 14 when the binge problem started) Sometimes i would binge because i was bored, sometimes because i felt nervous, but mostly when i was depressed.

But it was aweful...i of coarse, felt very guilty and ashamed and depressed and even more fat after each binge. Somehow, i got it under control. I dont want to say that i am completly recovered, because it could all come back, but i havn't had many eating issues (no starving or binging, or purging) for about 8 months now. I think because of my schizophrenia--which causes me to have very flat emotions these days--i dont really care so much what i look like anymore. But now that i dont care and dont worry as much about being fat, i've actually lost weight, because i no longer binge.

I hope things will get better for you.I will never forget how hellish it was to feel so ugly and fat. I felt that way for almost seven years..still do sometimes. Im 18 now..i've got a long ways to go yet.

-Becka