Quote:
Originally Posted by laura2
i appreciate your advice, different perspectives help, beginning to realise its not so black & white, have been haunted by one event for about 3 years, progressively got worse, & now it barely leaves me, if im honest the dissociation has got a bit out of control, & since understanding what it is, i realise how long ive been doing it, long time, long before this incident, which has confused me, ive realised when i started doing it, learnt to do it i suppose, it was to purposely block, i know there were occasions when i literally felt no physical pain while "drifting" as i called it, but this stuff was over 20 years ago, it feels in the past, & it doesnt haunt me, or even come into my head, but with this dissociation being so bad at the moment it seems to be throwing things up, that i could really do without.
My T is in his mid 60's, works from home in his sleepers & probably see's me as hardwork, & prefers the quick fixes, gonna send him an email telling him how i feel, dont want to go in there & clam up, then the hard bits already done, gives him chance to let me down gently if need be,
thanks sweetheart  |
That's a good option. It sounds like you've already realized he might not be a good match for you and why put yourself through such awkwardness when you can be done with it via e-mail if he's not up to the task? i'm really getting the feeling he's not. i really hesitate to say that because it's very important you come to your own conclusions but i have a rather compulsive need to be honest with my perceptions. [long internal dialogue regarding all THAT and i'll spare you
] Unless he's in semi-retirement now and, before doing brief therapy, he was a trauma specialist before that...i think you deserve better.
As for your dissociation experiences, it sounds like there's more to it than you were initially thinking (which isn't uncommon) and therapy should incorporate the whole of your life. i hope you find someone better suited soon. It's a very difficult process but we all deserve to have our whole selves and our real lives.