Thank you for your reply and your kindness Orange_Blossom, it really made me feel better.
I don't know about looking for a therapist, but I'm definitely going to check out the links you posted.
I was thinking about buying one of those books that are supposed to help you overcome the loss of a loved one, but then it occured to me that I'm not even sure I want to overcome something like this. The thing is that I was there when he died, I stayed by his side for hours at the hospital and it was just horrible. He was in pain, he suffered for the whole night because the painkillers weren't working any more and I couldn't do anything but watch him suffer. I mean... how can I accept that? He didn't deserve it. He was the nicest person I've ever known and yet he would have died alone if it wasn't for me. It just seems wrong to accept what happened and the way it happened... I feel like moving on means to betray him somehow... not to care any more, not to love him any more. And I don't want to stop loving him, even if he's gone.
I don't know if any of this makes sense, I'm confused