CAUTION: TRIGGER TRIGGER TRIGGER

I THINK -
Everyone wants to have a Mommy and a Daddy, BUT for me this

I just wanted to say that I tried for years to get the approval of my UGLY (mother) even though ALL the things that occurred, that she allowed, ALL.. from my birth and my sisters.

I went through many emotional states: whys, how comes, things I'd wish would happen to her.....

I'm 48 I no longer have contact......

I still have triggers though: the way someone talks, etc.

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My father donor - I tried to make contact......... many times throughout years...........
SCARY as well.......

One of the contacts made with him HE ACTUALLY WANTED ME TO BE HIS 'MATE'.
I even ignored it, like he didn't say it - cuz I wanted a Daddy. I continued the telephone, letter commuication.

A year or two later I purchased a bus ticket to go and Finally meet him. I WAS ALL PACKED TO GO THE NEXT DAY!!!!!!!!!!!

THANK GOD I recevied a letter from him that day before I left, BECAUSE he mad reference to sleeping in the same bed.
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