thanks everyone...

Notme thanks for sharing your experience with me. I was beginning to think something was wrong with me. I have been in T since Oct and have yet to really discuss anything(emotions and feelings and my MOTHER are hard topics for me) and was starting to think she was beginning to get fed up with me and I was ready to quit....

...yes i am very motivated to move a little bit further into therapy...but that pushing past the discomfort thing is going to be a chore for me....the whole sharing outside of therapy---even just writing somethign down and giving it to her during session is HARD..I think i may have over shared last time and that is why I got so zoned out...

My T has also told me about breathing exercises to lessen anxiety...yeah I didnt follow up on those exercises. I have tried...but I am not very diligent with it

Sitting--I will tell her or try to tell her all of this next week...

my T is very gentle at moving into uncomfy territory and even more gentle at moving out of it b/c most of the time I don't even notice until I realize that im not shaking on the inside.

Chaotic--You know, T said that I had made some progress last week. I honestly didn't realize it at all...maybe I am...She seemed somewhat pleased ( i have been worrying that I am a therapy DUNCE and that she was ready to kick me out), so maybe that is why she mentioned the whole moving past the discomfort...I dont know, but I would really like to TRY.... I am not going to get my hopes up....I may completely go in the opposite direction afterwards and really decide to quit

Thank you all for your advice and wisdom and support