all I want is my bf back and everything to go back tomorrow... instead I have my dad sleeping in bed, I'll have to sleep somewhere not so nice but that was my choice. I'm thankful to him.

But I just want to curl up in a ball and cry forever. I can barely stop the tears from coming.

I'm scared of tomorrow but even now this is torture. How am I going to survive even this much pain for 3 months let alone the next few days?

I want to call my bf but everytime I do it hurts. I can't do distance. I can't go back home. The whole point is to be practicing right now - getting better. I WAS better but now this... just a week ago (before I knew this was going to happen) I was planning a recital , practicing almost reguarly minus when I was sick, and even socializing some with the friend who's nearby. Now all I want to do is shrivel up and not exist anymore. I don't even want to touch my cello.

This is bad.