have been staying away - triggery - cancelleed new T saw an old T i saw a long time ago instead - he said he would see me and I am sooooo happy - he is a great T - and he doesnt want me to hurt myself anymore cos he wants me to have a better life and get better and he wants ot help me do that
and I trust him and he makes me feel safe
he asked me to promise not to hurt myself anymore and I did - but I am so afraid.... and I want to SI to ground myself but I promised i promised i promised ....
I am so afraid................... afraid afraid afraid afraid afraid...............
__________________
Its not how many times you fall down that counts 
its how many times you get back up! 
(Thanks to fenrir for my Picture )
When you have come to the edge of all light that you know and are about to drop off into the darkness of the unknown,
Faith is knowing One of two things will happen: There will be something solid to stand on or you will be taught to fly.
by Patrick Overton, author and poet