Wow, it sounds like you have a wonderful T.
I switched therapists back in December because my old one was so professional but way to distant for me. Sometimes I think the professionalism clouds a therapeutic relationship. I could never get close to her.
I also have a huge fear of abandonment. When I chose a new counselor 6 months ago, it was because of her warmth. I felt more connected in the first couple of sessions and she does give hugs which she started after about couple months of seeing her.

Yet, I still have this huge fear of abandonment, I know she knows this because I told her that one of the reasons I left my old T was because she had started her own practice over and hour away from where I had originally been seeing her and though she said she would still come see me at the other place, in my mind, I had to get out before she got sick of travelling so far and ditched me.

My new T understood and said, sometimes people are in T for a long time. Meaning I may need to see her for awhile. Then a couple months later, I mentioned my fear of abandonment again. This time she told me she can't promise me anything as something could happen to a family member ect.

That comment really hurt. Put a huge wedge in between, I want to trust her so bad but I am just waiting for her to tell me she can't see me anymore.
I am not sure she really understands how serious this is for me. If she has any intention of changing what she is doing ect....I need to know because I want out now if so, which would really hurt because I do like her a lot. I just can't allow myself to get closer and trust her more only to hear it has to end before I am ready for that. I can't do this all over again with another counselor, this may sound bad but I would give up completely on therapy at that point. It's too painful as it is.

You guys are so lucky that your T are so intuned to that for you. I dread even sending and email to mine. She told me I could email her but her responses are so short that I often wonder if she is really into that. I haven't even tried calling her yet when needed because email was a tester for me and I don't feel safe just yet. I'm too afraid to trust her for that just yet.
Maybe part of it is that my mother never tended to me, and left me in foster homes a couple time. I am so afraid of being too needy that I can barely allow anyone to help me.....it's as if I am constantly watching and waiting for them to fail me....I know that's bad, I just don't know how to change it.