Nightbird and Bearchic34, thank you from the bottom of my heart. I mean it. I didn't expect to receive such support... I don't know what I was expecting, probably nothing. I just registered and asked for help without thinking about the responses I would get because I couldn't take it anymore. I doubted something good would come out of it, but I wanted to try one last time to do something to get better. And I'm glad I did, because this works, I feel so much better when I read the replies of people who understand how I feel. I'm not used to it, I'm not good with people and most of the time I feel like a freak pretending to be human. It's so different here... It's like finding out that there are people on this planet who speak my language.
Sorry for the rambling, sometimes I get carried away a little bit . I hope it's ok if I keep posting here when I miss my granddad..