(((Doggybonz))) if there was any anger there it was firmly directed at me not you - you never have and prob never will say anything that would upset me cos I know it comes from a caring place - so for you ok.

I am triggery posting - I am trying to start posting again - but it is soooo hard - cos I start to panic as soon as I log onto any thread - so forgive me if I am short sometimes .... its generally cos I have got too triggery to stay - am hanging on by a thread to this thread lol

I wish I hadnt promised T - but he makes me feel safe and when I was talking to him it seemed the right thing to do - in a way he was right - or I would have done some serious damage yesterday and today because I am so afraid......... maybe he knew that ...... dealing with memories of SA is putting me in a bad place - i cant stay any longer - my heart feels like it will jump out of my chestand my head feels like it will explode - so thankyou Doggybonz ans Sannah - I appreciate both of you answering my post