i am going to tell her that they are only questions, and i dont want her to look. all i want to know is that it's not cancer... or something that is going to kill me...

pain i can deal with, even having them stuffed up to the point where i cant have children is ok... i just dont want there to be something seriously wrong that i should be attending to.

but i dont think it will be cancer, because my blood results have never shown up as bad before, and this has been going on for a while...

but point being - kiya - maybe you could ask your doc questions too? just so she knows you're concerned about it. and if you tell her no looking, then she won't, but maybe she can set your mind at ease?