He is pretty sweet. I didn't even have to say anything, he just could tell I was upset, stopped and then just held me for about 5-10 minutes until I stopped crying. Which was really surprising because I think any other guy I've been with, if that would have happened, all they would think about is "man, now I'm not gonna get any" and I'm really glad that he reacted that way to me triggering.

I've told him vague information about it but nothing specific because if I ever try to be specific I just start bawling my eyes out. He's told me several times since then how it meant a lot to him that I would even try it with knowing what the possible consequences are.

For the other stuff that used to trigger me, I've just had to talk myself through it telling myself that it's not like the last time and then, eventually, I get over it. But I hate having to do that during because I feel like I can't enjoy it because the whole time I'm talking to myself thinking "he's not forcing you or abusing you. it's fine". y'know? I just wish there was a way for me to get past those things without having to DO IT.