dear rachie,

things CAN get gooder, for us too............like we was reminded in chat tonite a lot of times we do have choices\alterntives.......
just have to get to a place in her head ( an yours) where can evaluate the situation with a clear head and explore all of our optiona ya know.......
unfortunately to say beads has been here before and it is never easy..........
like we has learned a few things over the years we tells you this;
iffen you thinking of splitting it is much easier on you iffen you sends THEM packign instead of leavign.... i mean y put ourselfs outta a place to live when this is HIS problem anyway........
ii mean like iffen you is thinking of gettgin away from him like we is our jerk bf we will kcik him to curb with law present........( not pack our stuff an leave because that is too hard on is we is one with m.i. not him and much easier for him to start over then us ya know).hate to say this but we is seriously conisedering this as maybe our most logical option to fix this nasty situation...
aint really made up our minds yet....still exploring what other choices.....
we can stay with and learn ways to set boundaries also this is also much easier said then done when you is liveing with a bully believe me i know butit ccan be done........
they say thqt we teaches peoples how to treat us adn we has been learning to speak up for ourselves some so like some of the bs has gotten gooder because he knows better thent o go certain places we has 'taught' him this.......
the main concern is to make sure you are safe.........pleae we dont know iffen he has ever hit you or not but iffen he has then he will again they always do once they hit it never stops always jsut gets worse in which case gettign him to leave ISA def. best option not easy but safest thing to do
no man is worth THAT..........
sometime just learning to walk away when the yellign starts can help to let them know you is NOT going to lissen to it period no matter why they is yelling.....also hard to do sometime but we is learning to do so we does not go round and round no more cuz it gets us nowhere anyway like you cant ag=rgue with a muleheaded fence post an expect to get anywhere ya know......
but you can go into another room or outside and 'get away' till they cools down........
also iffen yuo sees a T then that may be a good place to ask for some help in dealing with the bf they is usually pretty good at coping strategeis and/or resources availabel to you iffen you split up..........
anyway just throwing some thoughts out there..........
please know that beads heart really does go out to you in this difficult time because we knows how bad it sucks.........also ffel free pm beada anytime iffen you needs to we here for you,
thinking of you adn sending warm fuzzies adn peaceful thunks,

beads