In all my years of disagreements and clashings of personalities with my partents I NEVER raised my hand to them. In fact rolling my eyes showing insubordination wasn't even allowed.
Although I wanted to display my disapproval in various ways fueled by my anger.The worst I'd ever done was shout in rebellion...and that is something that I still feel badly for to this day.

For the life of me, I cannot even fathom the idea of someone striking their parents.
What blows me away about what you've stated is how your ONLY regret is that your nephews were present to withness the shouting, (and that your intentions are to hopefully make it up to them), after displaying and projecting the ultimate disrespectful act upon the two people who were looking out for YOUR welfare....and your nephews are your ONLY regret??

Once time passes, allowing you time for reflection upon your actions, you will discover that your nephews aren't your ony regret. Then what?
Do you intend to carry the guilt of your actions regarding the abuse toward your parents as a means of justifying misery?

I'm sorry....but this does not make sense to me. Not to mention that ABUSE OF ANY FORM IS NOT ACCEPTABLE OR EXCUSABLE.
(MY trigger of sorts).

From the sound of it, you were not thrown out, you've left in a tangent, providing yourself a justifiable excuse for your behavior. Wrong.

"In a way this is a good thing because now I am forced to move out of home and get a job".
As I said in my reply to your other post, the opportunity was always there. Although I do understand how anger can motivate. The unfortunate thing bout that sometimes is that while we are angry, we are focusing in a negative mind, and the possiblility of compounding the already aggrivated situation by making irrational decisions (fueled by anger) is much more present, and more likely.


"From crisis comes opportunity right?"
Certainly. There is always good present, regardless of the circumstance. However, again, as I've said in previous post, you HAD "choice".
Apparently, you now have removed even that, therefore forcing yourself to REact upon it.
One deed ALWAYS earns another in return. And, unfortunately yours of abusing your father like that will deliver you yours. (And you have no regret for that....yet).

I hope the best for you BT, and that all will work out for you.
I'm sorry to hear that things have taken this direction for you, as we later discover that sometimes we need to cross that very bridge that we've burned. And once that bridge is far beyond crossing back over, realizing that fact alone can redirect what we were hoping to obtain. I hope this will not be the case for you.

Shangrala