well few years ago i was adminted to a mental hosptial by force. and the one of the nurse there isnt very good. and i remember there was once i and other patients almost started protesting becuase of her.

And a few weeks after i was admited she grab my chocolate and i was angry and i grab it back. she seems very unhappy and move after and i was try to claim myself down thinking i was safe. but she when to call the "crisis team" and take me by surprise when i'm still trying to claim down, i struggle alot trying to get free but i fail and got tied up by the nurse and the cirsis team. and after i was untied i started shivering non-stop and that night i couldnt sleep even i have taken my medicine (inculded sleeping pills) and i was still shivering in fear the next morning. and i told the psychologist about it and they dont even care about it.

and i lose trust on psychologist and the medicine they give since then.

and few months after i was discharge from the hospital. i started to lost sleep and sometime having nightmates on what happned in the hosptial. and i didnt tell the psychologist during out patient treatment, fearing that they would ask me to go back. and few years later it still haunts me sometimes.