Amazon mum, I have the same "push-pull" battle going on. Oh the moving from one to the other is where most of the pain was, I'm sure if I could just "hate" T, I'd feel better, but then I'm sure if I could "love" T all of the time I'd feel better, alas besides T's coming and going, theres my own flutuation in moods and needs and that drives me to despair also. I guess we go to a T from our adult "Mind" to learn how to have a balance relationship and a T is the safest person to do this with, can you imagine trying to work through these painful emotions with a work collegue and have her/him come in one day in a foul mood and reject our desire to express how sad or angry we were feeling regarding missing him/her when he/shes not there? Oh its almost unbearable thinking about. So like this you can see how the pain of working through the attachment can't be avoided but it can be much more gentle and sucessful done this way.

ps. Man I'm glad after writing this that I do have a T and am not left to aquientences to work through my emtions.