honestly sometimes i feel like i don't deserve it. Like it is more important for me to please others and condemn myself for my mistakes that happiness comes only as an added bonus in life. But that's all deep down. On the outside, and away from my home - which is the source of my unhappiness, I am known for being joyous and always happy. but merely because it makes everyone else happy. even on bad days, I have to put on a front of being cheery and crazy or my friends will complain.