A lot of what I would like to say has already been said by others.
I have been in situations, as a child, where I was being attacked by my father...he had knocked me to the ground and was going for my throat. He liked to choke us. Out of defense for myself, without even really thinking, I kicked with my feet in an effort to push him off of me. As I was kicking, he was reaching for my throat and my foot and his hand made contact. That incident ended up braking his pinky finger. I still feel VERY guilty about this incidence, even though it was in self defense.
The point of that being self defense is one thing, doesn't justify violence, but it is more understandable if it happens, but what you are saying happened was not self defense. It was assault.....BLATANT assault. This behavior is NOT OKAY!!
As a child, I saw my Father beat my brother. I heard screaming...all the time. I felt the tension, and the anxiety, and the pain from all of it.
I want you to know that you can never make that up to your nephews. They may forgive you and move on, but they will never trust you like they used to. They will always remember the sounds and the sights and from here on out they will be afraid of you. They may not show it, but they will be. They will silently think..."Oh my gosh...he just threw his own parent to the ground and hit him....he beat up an old man....what could or would he do to us kids?" This will be in their heads for a long time.
Hopefully neither of them will take this incident and say "Gosh...if my Uncle could treat his dad this way...then I can beat the crap out of mine."
What a great lesson for them.
I really think you need to get some professional assistance, if you don't have some already. And you really need some anger management training.
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