I feel like self destructing, I don't know why. I feel like I wish I could disappear from so much pain. Can I believe T that feelings come and go ? I don't know why I feel so sad today. I feel a lot of anger under that too. I think it is at my first T. I want to hurt him back, but then again I just want to talk about what happened in therapy. There is no going back, I know. I just feel so sad that he hurt me and I let him. I should have known better that the feelings of being special was going to bit me in the butt later. How do I get past what he did to me? Do I fight back with my complaint with the APA or do I just accept things and try move on? Why do T's have to hurt those they are treating? What is wrong with the profession, what the hell is wrong with them?

When I am feeling like I am leaving this behind me, it rears its ugly head again, and I am so devastated and feeling hurt. What is wrong with me that I can't get over this, now going on 2 years since I fired him? What is wrong with me?