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"I don't regret hitting my father, he attacked me first."
"I pretty much went a little nuts today, could it be because I changed my meds two weeks ago?"
You admit to going a "little" nuts and questioning if it was med related...
So that's changed now? Interesting that all of a sudden he attacked you first, a convenient claim after you've been put on the spot for your abusing him.
I basically got frustrated and yelled a lot after continuing an argument that's been going on the last week"
You and who were yelling? See your statement below..."then my dad got involved and you hit him??
Then my dad got involved and I hit him.
Then he said to call the cops and I told them don't bother, cos i'm leaving.
Then I got into a tangle with him again, shoving him around a lot.
Then I hit him over the head as I left, throwing him to the ground.
Why the continuing violence when you could, and should have, stopped after the first hit?
That is some serious ***** as far as no impulse control and anger management doesn't begin to describe what needs addressed with honesty. Honesty.
No one here is denying that there are issues between you and your parents. Very serious ones.
Going nuts, as you called it, is most likely frightening to you and for sure it is terrifying for them.
The suggestion of therapy has been made several times. With this getting so out of hand, professional help would quite possibly be a life saver...
My honest feeling is that you are hurting very badly and cannot see any way of making it better.
There are better ways, and I believe you are aware of it.
It's hard taking that first step towards recovery, if you don't take it, you won't ever be happy.
People have problems, they do their best to work on them, and take it one thing at a time. It's been done for a very long time...give it sincere consideration then take action that means healing for you.
Your behavior is being called into question--Not You. You are still a human being going through a rough time...
Violence does not have to be a part of your behavior, and taking responsibility for your part in this terribly sad situation will benefit you in many ways.
Btw, I'm glad you have internet access so you can let us know how you are doing...
and perhaps let us know how your father is doing.
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The Most Dangerous Enemy Is The One In Your Head Telling You What You Do and Don't Deserve...
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