(((((( Peaches )))))))

I am pretty sure I would not have been able to do this self-comforting or adult to child comforting unless my T had shown me how to be kind to myself, first. We also relate to what happens to you and the DDNOS.

It took time but it is getting easier, except on extreme issues.

We take about 1/2 hr at the end of every session. We call it 'quiet time'. It is essential! In soft soothing tones T says gentle things. There are stuffies to hold onto and there is the quiet environment of the room, like what to see out the windows. As T does this I also learn how.

When time came for me to be more on my own with the inner children, I was able to bring up some of these words, sights, sounds, smells. The children love simple things like clouds and birds and sky, even sound of airconditioner in room. The other things came along after, like soft words, like caring, comfort, respect etc, always holding onto the soft toy and closing eyes and imagining 'pleasant' things. If yucky stuff came up, T redirected to gentle things.

I/we can't imagine a session without this at the end. It would weigh too heavily on the painful issue we had covered that day and make me not want to go back...

I learned those skills and then I have added some of my own as I have gone along. Like when in grocery store, getting anxiety, I pat self on upper chest, just say shhh shhh shhh seems to calm me down.

Hope this helps a bit.

H.