Peaches, Yes, I realise now I so badly needed someone to stand their ground with me. This feeling of safety and being "held" is something that has been badly missing in my life! I didnt realise what I was doing. I think I was testing to see if T could withstand my emotions, if she could hold firm, and it appears she passed with flying colours and now I have this new inner strenght growing within my gut suddenly. Its wierd, we seem as humanbeings to have to be able to "Put" out feelings "into" another and sit back and watch them, the person with our projections, and if the "other" isn't damaged or "destroyed" by them, we then "take" them back "Into" ourselfs in a new way, in a safer way, I can't be scared of those parts of myself now because I witnessed them being safely "held" by someone else. Quite amazing really.