money.

and i hope at least one hour a week that she doesnt dread. i hope.

its kind of important to me that i dont know what if anything T gets out of it though because then all i have to be is as non-hurtful and as polite as i can. i dont have to push myself to give more to her. i dont have to know what she likes so i dont have to work on figuring out how i can give her more of that. or work out what else i can give her to make her feel better. that means i dont have to feel guilty im not doing enough. i dont have to modify my thoughts, behaviours, actions to suit her.

i dont want to know who she is, what she likes, what she needs. up to a point of course. i need to know enough that i know she is intelligent, caring and not going to hurt me. now that i know that i really dont push for more. im terrified of getting it. and shes good about just giving me that right amount and no more. she likes travelling, biking and cooking. she has a partner (dont know his name). she doesnt have any kids. she works with kids and refugees and just finished 2 years of more study. after that whats important is how she is during the sessions.

hmmm... thanks for the opportunity to think about this.