I just hate myself right now. I feel so hopeless and guilty.

I just need to learn how to live in this state...because it won't get any better.

Either the drugs work too well, or they try to kill me, or they just don't work.

What's sad is that the Lamictal was working, before I became the 1 in a few thousand that gets hypersensitivity...

Why can't I just be a normal person with normal physiology? I'm just a hopeless freak.

I know my T will be disappointed in me this week, because I had been doing better for a while. I know my hubby is disappointed in me, he keeps asking if I am down again...he seems so sad if I admit it. I wish I could fake it for him.

The problem is my unintentional irritability is going to cause issues at my job and in my life. I just need SOMETHING to work. I can't afford to screw up my job or my marriage.