I wonder if I'm feeling a different thing. Maybe not. But I wouldn't describe myself as lonely. Not generally speaking in any case. I am content with my own company.

But I'm conscious that pushing people away makes me more isolated, and I do worry about that isolation. I sometimes worry that my natural tendency is towards solitude and being a recluse. And I don't know if that's as a result of my depression, or one of the causes of my depression.