Kiya, My plan was OK let's do it. I have proven that I can physically tolerate the touch and get myself to attend the session and lay still on the table. Let's schedule the sessions and DO IT. Then when my T started discussing ways to move forward implement the plan...my inner children freaked.

For me... I don't even have to actually DO the touch sessions at this point. Just thinking or discussing doing them triggers the surfacing of stuff. Earlier this week I took a subtle step closer to actually doing a treatment. Last night my skin was crawling, muscle shakes, and I had another series of nightmare that seemed to indicate that I am worried about this idea being harmful and leaving me confused about boundaries.