This makes sense. All it has to do is make sense for you for it to be what it is. i mean...whatever our mind's are capable of creating is whatever our mind's created ya know?

It may be you're feeling numbed out as your familiar way of coping while another part is conscious of the experience and it's attendant feelings. This would be very similar to when he came to be i would think. i dunno...

Really, i just want to say trust your gut. However you handle what comes up is how it can be handled so there is no right or wrong. We do what we can do...no more, no less.