Yes, my T is very encouraging of me to express my feelings. With sadness and grief, he encourages me to cry. If he sees me struggling to hold back tears, he will very reassuringly tell me it's OK to cry, it's OK to let go. He speaks very gently. He may say it several times. I never disappoint him. It's actually been one of my big things in therapy--to learn to be more authentic and express what I am feeling instead of stuffing everything inside. My T is very sensitive and can often tell when I am sad, even when I am not fighting back the tears. He may remark on it, "you are sad," or "you were sad for a moment just now when you said that," etc. It's an invitation to share but not a demand. I don't view it as "calling me out", which sounds harsh to me; I view it as T being reassuring and supportive.

T has told me that when in therapy school, he took a course in play therapy and learned one thing is to just sit alongside the child as they play and describe what they are doing. It's very validating to the child to be noticed, especially when they may be part of a busy or unattuned family, where parents don't notice them, what they're doing, or what they are feeling. Like, during play therapy, the T might say, "Johnny is playing with the truck and now he's making it go over to the sandbox," and the T keeps up a monolog, kind of sitting in the background, not conversing with the child, just commenting. He says the same thing is very powerful with emotions, to have someone notice and comment on it. You don't have to make a big deal of it, just say, "right now sunny is sad." The one and only time my entire family came for a session with him, in the opening minutes he just casually remarked that my youngest daughter was sad and then moved on. That just let something loose in her and she started crying, which is amazing, because she is so demonstrative. Two minutes in T's office and she was able to let her tears out.

I have seen that this technique helps me too in therapy when T "notices" me. (This is especially powerful for me because my H ignored me most of the time and was very insensitive.) T can be quite direct with me about my feelings because we are so close and used to each other, but with a more skittish client, this technique could be used more obliquely. I have since used this same technique with people in my life and it has worked well most of the time. My application can be clumsy, but sometimes I get it right.

I think it may vary from person to person. It sounds like your T has judged that it would not be good for you to directly call attention to your emotions. Do you wish she would acknowledge your feelings more? You could always tell her, if that's the case. It sounds like you are getting more and more comfortable having feelings around her, so one of these days, the tears will probably come.