OK Sunrise... What makes the stakes higher? For me...I can handle rejection from most people really well. I have no need to be liked by or friends with everybody. HOWEVER, people who I like, respect, or who can affect my income :-)...I want them to like, respect, and not reject me. Does this mean I am attached to my university president :-) I think this is a different type of job security attachment.

Now, seriously...One think that I clearly felt and even directly stated in my email communication with my T last week was my concern about my therapy file. Not so much what she has written in it but more about what I'VE put in it. What the images I've shared with her convey about my inner world and who I am. Now when I wrote this I was obviously worried about how what I am now sharing with her might her opinion of me. If I'm not attached to her and really see her as just a warm body to vent to, someone how I don't have to kiss up to to stay employed...then, why do I care what she thinks about who I really am? Why is it important that she finds me acceptable? Also, after having just a few sessions with her I didn't want her to know to find out about my past and the type of kid I was. Why? Her opinion mattered to me when others who've I known a lot longer...don't.