Well, I did ask my doctor about getting a CT of the head and neck and she said "ok, would you like that?" and I said "well, I think i would but what do you think?" and she said "well, I don't really see anything that makes me think you need one right now" and then finally, I replied "ok, well that's good. Maybe I'll just hold off then". My doctor also indicated that we would try to get me into see a counceller at some point. We spend a lot of time together this last visit just going over my whole history. I probably will insist on a CT/MRI scan of the head and neck w/ contrast medium the next time I go - that or get a referral to see a neuro.

As a footnote to this fascinating "saga", I was reading a post earlier where someone had mention that they took 1mg of Ativan each day and their anxiety went away. I also had some Ativan stashed away and so I dug it up and took one and for the first timein TWO MONTHS, I felt calm, relaxed and unafraid. It was totally amazing. No, I don't feel euphoric or high or anything like that...I just feel NORMAL again so when I run out of this supply, I am planning on telling my doctor about this and see if she can prescribe some more or something similar. Imagine that...2 months of pure hell...I take an Ativan and BAM...I'm totally myself again. Praise God is allI have to say about that!.

Anyway, no Fay, I have nothing against you either. In the beginning I thought perhaps our personalities might clash eventually but that happens on almost every board. Not everyone is always going to be compatable or see eye to eye on everything 100% of the time. there is a diverse mix of personalities here andev eryone has their own way of getting their point accross. Some are firm, drill-seargent-like and others footsy around the issue and try to candy-coat everything. I'm a big boy and I've taken hell all my life so practically nothing you say to me will hurt my feelings so fire away. I actually enjoy your frankness because I'm all businesstowhen it comes to anxiety. Anxiety is no "game". IT's some serious stuff and needs to be treated. I am happy to have your help as I am help from all of my other good friends who I know and trust on this board .

Well, gotta run. I'll pop in again later.