Trying, wow, you are so on target, dear person.
Since dad died, I have the burden of being a caregiver for my mom, talk about "getting it" twofold
She's diabetic, heart problems, dementia, etc. and soooooo I do the meds., syringes, doc visits, shopping, trash removal, cleaning, bills, etc. and then home to do very much the same
It is extremely straining, and wears one out, being middle aged doesn't make things easier.
I feel guilty when I think of the emotional freedom I will have when she passes, and then again I'll probably be too worn to enjoy the short years I'll have left.
That is a hard thing, the "damn" guilt. I've been told by therapists, and pdoc, to never feel guilty, all that has been possible I've helped it happen
When all else is empty, questionable, seeming futile, we need to step outside ourselves and tell ourselves we did a good job, the best we could . . . isn't that the best it could get? Yes.

Love to you and all that comes to this forum,

DE

PS
I thsnk you all for contributing your support to this forums and those that come here