((((life))) you know what? same here. But I have to trust that our T's know something we don't. I, too, went in with a *plan* and was (fearful) ready to implement it. We'd talked about the bodywork I just started and how that is bringing up stuff. But I was still ready to plough ahead. T was not as enthusiastic. But it truly is for my own safety. She knows where I often end up and wants me to have more stability before diving in head first. I had a lot of anxiety today, trying to decide which topics to jump into; SA, a rupture with another dr, another medical topic being discussed here in a different thread, the bodywork, or just surface stuff which T was leaning towards. She was the one who told me she felt like a bad T for not managing to make sessions more benificial, so I upped the ante and T backed out. It is hard for me to think of it in terms of being for my safety - I was ready!!! I was going to run my head into another wall (and prolly self injure or fall into some dark tunnel) just to prove she wasn't a bad t!! But T knows best afterall. In fact, she set it up so that we don't even actually implement my plan for another 3 weeks - "and then it is still subject to change, depending on how things are". Again, for my own safety. There is a reason these things aren't pushed - they can push us back pretty hard and end us up in the gutter. Try to trust the process =)