Something that might be helpful to consider is that just because an abortion can be obtained with more ease these days, that doesn't mean it's easy to have one. In particular, many women are not prepared for the intensity of emotion they may feel afterwards. In some towns/cities women who have had an abortion can seek out support from other women who have gone through the same experience. You could try using a search engine to find a support group of women in your area. Sometimes, just talking to someone else can bring an immense sense of relief.

What would be ideal is if your boyfriend could also talk to some men who have gone through his experience so that he could also have the opportunity to come to terms with his own feelings about the abortion. You could try checking with a place such as Planned Parenthood to see if they can make any recommendations for the both of you. It's also possible that he has some males within his own social circle who have been in his position and might be willing to offer some personal support to him. An older brother perhaps. His own father. Maybe it would be helpful for him to talk with a young father as well. You could suggest this to him but it would be up to him to actually follow up on it.

I don't know if finding some forms of personal support might make a difference to your relationship. It does sound as if he's experiencing some doubts and also projecting a lot of blame your way. It's also possible that even if you'd chosen to have/keep the baby, he would still find something to criticize or blame you for -- such as financial difficulties, your tiredness, your focus on the baby. No matter what, there would be problems because pregnancy and parenthood is a huge stresser to any relationship, even when both parents are ready and mature enough to take that responsibility on.

Meantime, I suspect that when he chooses to attack you in a specific manner it's because he knows it will provoke a reaction that he wants to see. It could be that he wants you to demonstrate remorse; maybe he wants you to give him more attention; maybe he wants you to reassure him that his own insecurities are okay. No matter what his reasons are it's not a healthy form of communication and it's obviously deeply distressing to you. Some part of you seems to be very much aware that this is an abusive pattern of behavior but perhaps another part feels torn because you also care about him and may feel you are responsible to some extent. What you need to remember is so is he. He could have chosen to wear a condom. He could have chosen to say no. It takes two people to create a pregnancy.

I suggest you seek out some support for yourself, including your parents if possible. But also let your boyfriend know that you won't tolerate his blame or accusations any longer. And if he starts to get abusive with you -- walk away. Go be with a family member or friend who will treat you with respect.

Good luck.