((Kiya)) trust the process---*sigh* I am trying to. I just want things to go MY way. I like to know what is going to happen how and why...Like I need some type of therapy guide...feel like I have spent my entire life wandering aimlessly without any direction and I am doing the same thing in T and I dont like it.

I was so confused when i went into see T I was ready to "dive" in, especially after we discussed my difficulties in talking about harder topics and she completely skimmed over everything I tried to bring up....she thinks it's because I dont want to talk about it, but what she doesnt understand is that have literally kept everything to myself FOREVER and all of a sudden having to actually verbalize these things is HARD for me. It's not that dont want to though...

SAWE-
I am doing okay surprisingly. I was a little frustrated in T yesterday b/c after discussing my difficulties in opening up and her asking what it would be like to sit in those uncomfy feelings and thoughts, we completely didnt go in that direction at all and I was fully expecting to. But I am kind of happy that we set some goals to make my move to a new state and job a successful one--so I guess that's a good thing...

chaotic, I wish I knew my T's thought process for this. I feel left out in the dark about what's going on and I hate it. it gets me frantic and my thoughts start going. Like Kiya said, our Ts know what they are doing. Maybe they are gently trying to move us into the deeper end, but slowly. and when we want to swim out further than we'd like, they are there to pull us back and keep us from getting in over our head....maybe that is what T is doing...IDK....