Thanks for sharing such a personal story with me Treehouse, I didn't even know. It makes me feel not so dysfunctional to know that I am not the only one who had something like this happen, and still feel the pain from it.
The pain is unbelieveable and i am even scared to feel it. I feel like I will lose myself or something if I try to feel the full amount of my grief. I know I will need to do this in order to process it, but it is scary to leave myself in such a vunerable position.
My T said that T1 is probably really scared right now,he is probably trying to dismiss what I am saying to save his butt, but she thinks he knows what he did. I asked her if she thinks he is sorry for hurting me. She couldn't answer that. I want to believe that he is, but right now he is probably just trying to defend himself. My words do have power, my poetry is real and to the heart. He can try to dismiss what he did, but with my poems, it shows the depth of my hurt. He may have not meant to hurt me, but he did, and he has to at least know that much. He harmed me, he changed me in ways for the good and for the bad. Even the good feels bad now, it just hurts so much to be betrayed by someone who I thought the world of.