((((((((((treehouse))))))))))))

You are going through some much. My thoughs are with you in this difficult place.

I *think* (JMHO) that as the relationship matures there is this thing that happens where you get what you need from T in that time without T having a strategy for "how to work" with you. To me this is the difference between the real relationship and how that operates in session and the goals you set forth to accomplish (not that you even have a goal list, just an example of differences of the feeling in the sessions). Your T knows you really well at this point. His caring for you is apparent.