((((((Mary Alice))))))
I am so sorry you are feeling so awful. I wish I could say something to make you feel better...

One thing I do know is that your T must have some feelings for your well being or he wouldn't allow you to call him at all. He just wants you to see that he is needed before you do something to hurt yourself.

My therapist will see and talk to me the next day, ( unless of course it is day time and I call him to talk to him at the office...if he is out for the day for get me talkng to him) if I am having a bad time and want to hurt myself I have to call the crisis line and talk to someone that don't even know me. The only thing he did for me was put in a "hot sheet" which makes it so they don't call the police on me to take me to the hospital...they will just talk me through my crisis at that time. My T knows me and knows I can say the right things to keep me out of the hospital.

Please think about calling him before you want to harm yourself... that is the only thing he is requesting from you...it really does make sense...he will be more then willing to talk you through the crisis you are having at that moment... tell him how badly you want to cut but didn't..that is what he wants to hear...that you didn't harm yourself...

(((((((((((((((((((((((((Mary Alice)))))))))))))))))))))))))))

somebody