Thank You ltlredvett for your info I'm not sure if you got my first message as I got kicked off line so here goes, she does have a drinking problem and from what I know , she doesn't have intimacy problems with me which is the reason for my query here because she basically loves and trusts men and has been very open from the beginning of our relationship that she likes to be dominated/pinned down/tied down and fairly rough sexand I was wondering if this guy who treated a 14-15 year old teen like a grown woman and made her feel special and adult etc.. if this could be the way a girl reacts to being abused but in a nice wayrather than being violently abused which makes most women afraid of men and sex? I also am not sure but think that maybe her drinking is to dull pain or embarrassment from her past, she tells me that that is how she was raised but I don't buy that because you make your own decisions and she did go through a period of extremely heavy drinking including missing work from hangovers etc.. as well as waking up with different partners as far as I can tell , but i really would like to makr this work and the past doesn't bother me as it was not her fault anyway but the drinking is a real problem, she does look older from it and is overweight(which I will not mention to her) but it does bother me because I think that in the future it will come back and possibly damage our relationship at that time.
I really don't want to mention any more about ti to her as she does get very defensive about the alcohol and she did tell me that she did go to AA but I notice that she just doesn't come home and have a beer ; she NEEDS at least 2 and if not stopped she will have more or get into the rum.
Tahnk You again , I really appreciate the help as I don't know what else to do about this.