I know my brain needs food... But I don't. I don't deserve food.

Connor got me to eat yesterday... He made me a chicken and salad sandwich, then later on got me to have pasta. I cried.

I feel so weak giving in to him... But I can't stand to hurt him any more than I already have. I've f-cked up his life enough as it is, so I owe it to him bigtime. I owe it to everyone. I don't deserve to be treated well, loved, cared about or wanted. I deserve to die. That's how I feel. That's how I've let them make me feel. I feel useless, like nothing, nobody. I don't deserve nourishment, health, happiness. That's what they told me and it's true. I am a bad person so don't deserve to eat.