As an additional note it occurs to me that healing is a process which often unfolds in stages (which may or may not be well-defined). Take grief, for example. In the earliest stages of grief our pain is most intense. If someone were to come to us when we're in that stage and say, "You know, one day it will get better," their words might seem heartless, cutting, cruel or out of touch. Our pain can be so great in that stage, we can't imagine a time when it won't be with us. But given a year or two, or seven or twelve, or however long it takes, we might one day find ourselves in the position of saying to someone in the earliest stages of grief, "You know, it really does get better..."

When I reflect upon my own experience in regard to trauma, there was a stage of confusion and denial, followed by partial acceptance, followed by intense mourning, followed by full and then fuller acceptance and eventually... things were okay. Life got better. The past was behind me. The future was ahead.

What I needed at each stage differed and I wasn't necessarily open to or capable of hearing what someone in a different stage might have to say to me, even if it might have been helpful. I was only capable of doing what I was capable of doing in that particular moment.

By the same token, maybe those who find DBT or Linehan's approach to be helpful and beneficial and those who don't, are simply at different stages in their own process. It can be helpful and hopeful to know that people can pass through intense forms of crisis so we shouldn't lose sight of that possibility, but we also need to remember to honor where we are.