I have to apologise, because I made them do that to me, I made them mad because I fell and screamed in pain, i should have put up with it, I didn't do my jobs on time. I was too slow yet again

No, Pain, you were not at fault here. You did not make them do it. I have some similar experiences, though not as extreme as yours, and I can tell you that no one should be treated as you were. No one who is kind would see you as "deserving" what you got for being "too slow". No one in their right mind would do that to you.

I hope you are in fact safe now. I don't think they will find out what you wrote here. It is good for you to tell someone, someone who will listen and support you, as we will here.