I kept a diary as a child, and recorded all of my angst in it. Then, when i was getting married and going through my stuff, i came across my 5th grade diary. There were so many painful emotions regarding my family that i felt ashamed and threw it away. I feared that somehow, in some way, my parents or sister would find it and would be hurt by reading what I'd written about them. Years later, now that I'm in therapy, I wish I'd kept that diary. It would have helped tremendously in understanding the things i went through, much of it that i don't remember now.

A few years ago, when i fell into a deep clinical depression, i started keeping a journal. Since I was having some problems with my husband, which i wrote about, i kept my journal at a good friend's (I thought) house, because, just as in childhood, i didn't want him to read it and know i was feeling so badly about him. Unfortunately, when my friendship with this woman ended, she refused to return my journal (and many other things I'd stored there, including original poems I'd written). I asked her to either destroy it or return it, but she never did. i hate so badly that she has that journal of mine but i couldn't bring myself to press any charges. I'd opened up to her so much during my depression and she knows things about me that could be used as "fuel" now, should i press the issue or make any problems with her.

I still keep a journal today, though I will probably never share it with anyone or EVER EVER entrust it into someone else's hands. My husband bought me a lock box, and i keep completed journals in there. I keep my current journal in a drawer by the bed. It's not locked up, but my husband wouldn't read it anyway. Since my husband bought me the lock box, i trust now that he'd respect my privacy. I also have an electronic journal on Blogger, which is private. My e-journal is also backed up on my C: drive at home.