By medications I do just mean drugs, but not the illegal kind.

Some are prescribed to me and some are bought over the counter.

The most ideal medications for the purpose I want/need them I am not allowed to have anymore, because I did abuse them.

Thanks for your opinion on the matter, I know to some people it seems dangerous, that has been expressed to me in the past, but I can't make myself be all that worried if I'm not ODing.